


Know Your Shadow

by Kyluxtrashpit (ApostateRevolutionary)



Series: Renben Fics [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren (Comics)
Genre: Anal Sex, Ben is straight up not having a good time during ROKR, First Time, Identity Issues, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Ren's gonna help him though, Rough Sex, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:02:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22759699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApostateRevolutionary/pseuds/Kyluxtrashpit
Summary: After Ren allows him to travel with them, Ben follows the Knights of Ren back to their ship. While they travel, a conversation about what it really means to be a Knight of Ren leads to something much more.
Relationships: Ren (Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren)/Ben Solo, Ren (Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren)/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Ren (Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren)/Kylo Ren
Series: Renben Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679722
Comments: 47
Kudos: 240





	Know Your Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the Rise of Kylo Ren comics, or at least the first 3 volumes, so spoilers are a given. I’m not sure how much sense it will make without having read them because like, you kind of need to know who Ren is lmao but it’s also mostly porn so you do you. Also Ben is an adult but Ren does refer to him as ‘kid’ quite a bit and idk if that’s a nope for people so there’s your warning if so

Ben followed Ren and the other Knights back to where their ship was docked. His borrowed clothes, given to him by the Knight called Kuruk, fit perfectly, but they still felt strange. It’d been over a decade since he’d worn anything other than Jedi robes and the straps, the jacket, the boots, all of it felt foreign on him. He thought he liked the aesthetics of them, though, and that was something.

If he was being honest, there was nothing about this situation that didn’t feel strange. When he’d gone to bed that night, Ben had never thought he’d awaken to his uncle standing over him, about to kill him. And then destroying the temple, finding Snoke, seeking out the Knights, killing Hen- Ben particularly didn’t want to think about that last part, was afraid of what would happen if he let himself for too long. He hadn’t meant to and something tugged inside him. Ren had said it wasn’t a good enough death because he hadn’t wanted it and he’d been right. Ben still felt a hollow pain, could still hear Hennix’s scream in his mind.

Pushing those thoughts away, Ben tried to focus on the present, tried to listen in to what the Knights were saying instead of to the static in his mind. He felt light years away from his body and staying present took more effort than it should have. So much had happened, it was like his mind was refusing to process it.

Ren suddenly letting out a loud laugh startled him back into the moment. He was saying something to one of the other Knights – Vicrul, Ben thought – though Ben didn’t understand what they were talking about. Ben couldn’t help but notice how the Knights carried themselves, with so much confidence and a complete lack of self-consciousness, took up so much space, both literally and metaphorically. That, Ben thought, was what had drawn him to them. They were who they were, without apology or regret. Ben had never known such freedom.

They then came upon the shipyard, dozens of ships parked together. Ren headed directly for one in particular and Ben immediately knew it was the right ship. It looked like a transport ship, something relatively standard, but it had been modified to the point of being unrecognizable if not for its shape. It was all dark metal and jagged edges, the same aesthetic as the masks most of them wore. The engines looked modified, too, and Ben was instantly curious to find out how much power it had. It was very different than what he was used to, but Ben decided he liked it.

“And here she is,” Ren declared, looking at Ben now. “This is the Night Buzzard, kid. It’s the boys and I’s ride around the galaxy.”

Ben wasn’t sure exactly what to say to that, so he just nodded. Soon enough, he was following the seven inside, taking in the interior. It was maintained, he could tell that, but there was some superficial damage to the walls that clearly no one had bothered to fix. It wasn’t quite messy, but definitely cluttered, with supplies and weapons scattered around. In the corner of the main area, a table was flipped over and left to sit in the corner, as if someone had thrown it there in a fit of rage. Ben didn’t know much about the Knights’ personalities, aside from Ren, but that being exactly what happened wouldn’t have surprised him.

“The destination hasn’t changed, so get us going, Kuruk,” Ren said and Kuruk nodded, heading to where Ben guessed the cockpit was. “I’ll get the kid here situated.”

The other Knights all filtered out, heading in different directions and suddenly Ben was alone with Ren again. Ren removed his mask and something stirred inside Ben, but he ignored it. Much as the mask was intense, like Ren had said, there was something about his bare face that seemed even more so to Ben. The first time Ren had done that, all those years ago, was something that had stuck with Ben ever since.

Ben couldn’t help but think again to exactly what he was doing here. So much had gone wrong, had turned out exactly the way Ben hadn’t wanted it to and then some, but… perhaps the end result would be good. As lost as he felt at this moment, being among the Knights… he envied them, the way they lived, the way they were who they were. The freedom they had. Ben had always felt his whole life had been decided for him, that the only choices he had for his future were among a few options, those his family had pursued. Perhaps here, he could be his own person. He’d thought his destiny already written, but perhaps there was still another way, a path left open that he could take. Perhaps Ren could lead him down it.

“Careful you don’t get lost in there, kid,” Ren said, bringing Ben back out of his thoughts. “I can feel you thinking. I hope you’re not having doubts already.”

“It’s not-” Ben started, but cut himself off, exhaling a deep breath to steady himself. “I mean, a lot has happened. This isn’t exactly how things were supposed to go.”

Ren sat down on a long padded bench that sat against the wall, never taking his eyes off Ben. “And how were things ‘supposed’ to go? You were ‘supposed’ to be a Jedi, but if you’d really wanted that, you wouldn’t be here, would you?”

Ben swallowed; that hit a little too close to the truth. As much as Ben had worked to be a Jedi, it’d always felt like something he was expected to do rather than something he’d truly wanted to. At birth, a handful of fates had been written for him and when his Force-sensitivity had manifested, all but one had been essentially erased. It’d never felt like he had a choice.

“I’m going to give you some advice, kid,” Ren said when Ben didn’t reply. “And you better appreciate it because I don’t usually coddle our new recruits like this. Forget what you were ‘supposed’ to be. None of us give a shit about that and you need to stop worrying about it too.”

Ren pulled out his lightsaber then, resting it in his hand for Ben to see. “We follow the Shadow and we follow this, the Ren. The Ren doesn’t care about what it’s ‘supposed’ to be or what it’s doing, for what purpose it’s wielded. It just _is_. It lives and it consumes and it doesn’t apologize for its nature. _That_ is the principle I’ve dedicated my life to, what the Knights of Ren were _built_ on.

“Whatever you are, _that’s_ what you need to be. Unapologetically. Without regret or doubt. If the Ren was built for a particular cause, it doesn’t know about that or care about it. There’s no ‘supposed to’.” Ren paused then, turning the lightsaber over in his hands, his thumb resting over the activation switch for just a moment. “I can see you don’t know what you want or who you are, but you have to let yourself discover that instead of dwelling on whatever expectations people had of you. You are what you are. Embrace that. That’s how you get to know your Shadow.”

Ben stared at the ground, taking in those words. It wasn’t unlike what Tai had told him, so long ago, but the tone, the feeling… it was definitely different. Ren was right in that Ben had no idea what he truly wanted, just that it wasn’t the life he’d had. He wanted a choice. He wanted acceptance. He wanted to just… _be_. Just like Ren had said, he wanted to exist, without apology, without fear and expectation. He just… he didn’t know how to do that.

“I want to,” Ben said, his voice low and quiet, and then he looked up to Ren. “I just don’t know how.”

“Well, we’ll see what the boys and I can teach you, huh?” Ren said, leaning back, seeming completely at ease, while a war waged in Ben’s mind. “I think you’ve got it in you, somewhere deep down under all that Jedi nonsense. If I didn’t, I never would’ve left you my mask.”

Ben wasn’t sure if that was true, but he hoped so. He hungered, always had, for something else, something more. Not this, exactly, especially with all that had led up to it, but even from that first moment they’d met, he’d always been drawn to Ren. There was something about him that had pulled Ben in that he could never explain, some sort of energy that drew Ben to him. It was something that had been undeniable every time he’d thought back to that first meeting.

Later, that pull had turned into lust in his clumsy, teenaged fumblings with his own hand. He’d never believed it to be true attraction, just a dark but harmless fantasy, like most people had, but now, seeing Ren again… Ben glanced at Ren’s hand, still holding the lightsaber. It was large, strong. Ben had imagined those hands and what they might be able to do in various ways throughout his adolescence.

“Where are we going?” Ben asked, trying to push away those unbidden thoughts in case Ren was strong enough with the Force to sense them.

“It’s not important,” Ren said, waving his free hand dismissively. “It’ll take a bit, though, so if you need to sleep, now’s the time, kid.”

“You know I’m not actually a kid, right?” Ben said, suddenly needing to make that clear. “I’m-”

Ren laughed, cutting him off, and grinned. “Yeah, I know. It’s pretty obvious. But you’re young. Inexperienced. A fledgling, if you will. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d never been drunk.”

Ben flushed at the words; it was true. He’d had a few sips, here and there, but he’d never gotten properly drunk. It wasn’t something they did at the temple; it was indulgence and therefore not the Jedi way.

Ren laughed again, louder this time. “Oh, this is just too good. Don’t worry, we’ll get you properly wasted. No wonder you don’t know what you want when you’ve been denied so many of life’s pleasures. They’re what make living _fun_.”

“Oh? And is showing me those pleasures going to be part of my learning here?” Ben shot back, before he could think better of it.

His smile shifting into a smirk, Ren leaned forward again, his eyes intense. “If you want it to be. If you want to get drunk, we’ll get you drunk. Spice, we can get that too. Being one of us is all about going after what you want. Hells, you want to get fucked? We’ve got seven cocks on this ship, as long as you’re down with xenos.”

Ben sputtered, his face burning hot. “That’s- I didn’t mean-”

“Oh? But I think you did,” Ren said, then shrugged nonchalantly. “The offer’s there, if you want it. I wouldn’t mind getting off.”

Chewing on his lower lip, face still burning, Ben didn’t know what to say to that. Did he want to? A large part of him definitely did, heat building between his legs at just the thought of Ren fucking him. But at the same time… he hadn’t exactly done this before. That was an intimidating prospect at the best of times, but with all that had led up to this, Luke’s betrayal, the temple, Hennix, the others…

If nothing else, at least maybe he’d be free of those thoughts. The idea of anything that could take his mind off all of that was appealing at the moment, especially if it was pleasurable. Sure, he could go try to sleep and probably end up tossing and turning instead. Or he could give himself over to Ren, to pleasure, to _desire_. To what he truly wanted.

If that was the way of the Knights of Ren and Ben was hoping to join them, well, maybe he should start now?

“Okay,” Ben said, the word all but falling out of him. “I mean, if you want to.”

Ren laughed again. “Kid, I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to. Come on, then, I’ll take you to my bunk.”

Ren rose from the bench and headed down one of the hallways, Ben following as nervousness and excitement welled up inside him. Maybe it was just a distraction, maybe it was just the prospect of playing out a teenaged wet dream, maybe this was truly his deepest desire at the moment, but regardless of the source, he did want it. Ben knew that for certain, even if he was nervous. Mostly, he just hoped he wouldn’t disappoint Ren as a lousy lay.

Ben glanced around the ship as they went, partially to distract himself from his nerves. One of the doors to the hallway was open and Ben peeked in to see one of the Knights – Trudgen, if he had to guess at which – sharpening his massive vibrocleaver. A masked head snapped up, looking right back at Ben, and Ben felt a whole new wash of embarrassment. It felt like the Knight knew exactly what he was about to be doing.

“Here we are,” Ren said when they arrived at the end of the hall, hitting the button to open the door to his quarters.

Inside, it was relatively clean but cluttered, much like the rest of the ship. The bed was unmade but surprisingly large, easily big enough for Ren and him to share without issue. Ben felt his face get even warmer seeing it; this was really happening. He wondered if Ren would be anything like he’d been in his adolescent fantasies.

Ren undid his tattered cloak and let it fall to the ground, removing the glove from his left hand next. He gestured towards the bed then and Ben sat, not sure what to do with himself. He understood the basic mechanics, of course, had fingered himself many times in his bunk back at the temple while imagining it was someone else doing it, sometimes even envisioning Ren himself.

“You start by getting undressed,” Ren said as he hooked his fingers in the waistband of his pants, his tone teasing. “From there, well, I’ll show you.”

Ben flushed harder and started pulling off his new clothes, unbuckling the shoulder harness first, then the coat. He paused, then tossed them on the floor, deciding that if Ren didn’t care, neither did he. The shirt went next, and then Ben looked up to find Ren was already naked.

Instantly, Ben’s mouth went dry. The scarring on Ren’s chest continued, down over his hips to the tops of his thighs, patchy and ragged before coming to an end. The bottom part of his thighs and calves seemed clear of it and Ben wondered, not for the first time, what could have caused such extensive injuries. Between his thighs hung his cock, long and thick, impressive even in its mostly soft state. Ben tried to swallow; he _wanted_ , suddenly, and a shock of heat throbbed between his legs.

Eager now, Ben kicked off his boots and unbuckled his belt, then shoved his pants and underwear down as one, not wanting to wait any longer than he had to. Ben had always been a little self-conscious about his body but now, it didn’t even occur to him to worry. The way Ren was looking at him, like he was something to eat, was more than enough to confirm how he felt about it. Ben couldn’t help a shiver.

“Not bad, not bad at all,” Ren said as he approached, putting one hand on Ben’s shoulder and shoving him back, but staying where he was and just admiring. “I take it you haven’t been fucked before?”

Ben shook his head. “No, it was another thing the Jedi never allowed.”

“Figures,” Ren said, and then he was moving, putting himself between Ben’s legs and making Ben spread them. “Don’t you worry, I’ll get you nice and deflowered. I’ll even make sure you have a good time.”

Ren leaned forward, hovering over Ben and then suddenly Ren’s lips were on his and Ben’s mind reeled. His lips were soft, warm, and insistent, almost smothering, but in the best possible way. Ben had thought about kissing before, especially with Tai, but he’d never had the chance to do it. He kissed back, following Ren’s movements as best he could. Ren didn’t seem to mind his inexperience, though, and Ben opened his mouth when Ren’s tongue prodded at the seam of his lips, letting it in. He couldn’t help a moan as their tongues ran against each other, Ren easily dominating the kiss and Ben’s eyes fluttering closed. It was so _overwhelming_ , Ren’s presence over him and his lips and tongue all Ben could think about.

One of Ren’s hands was on him then, running over his stomach then to his waist. The hand slid further up, grasping at his chest, and when Ren pinched a nipple, Ben gasped sharply, a high sound coming out of him. Ren smiled against his lips and did it again, rubbing the nub between his finger and thumb.

“Sensitive, huh?” Ren said as he pulled back, his smile more a smirk and criminally smug. “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

Ren surged forward again, this time going for Ben’s neck, sucking and biting gently at it as he continued to tease Ben’s nipple and all Ben could manage was moaning and trembling faintly, gripping onto Ren’s shoulder with one hand. The other ended up hesitantly in his hair, feeling the tiny braids within. The stubble on Ren’s chin was just the right kind of burn and Ben was helpless to do anything but surrender.

Heat was building between his legs, his cock getting hard, and Ben instinctively spread his legs further, wrapping them around Ren’s waist and trying to pull him closer. He needed friction, needed _anything_. They’d barely started, Ben knew he was getting worked up embarrassingly fast, but he couldn’t help himself. He _needed_.

“Stars, kid, you’re too easy,” Ren said, his voice turned husky with desire, then paused to bite at Ben’s collarbone. “Need to take the edge off before the main event?”

Ben nodded without even considering it and Ren wrapped his hand around Ben’s cock, his grip tight and sure. Just like when he was holding the lightsaber, Ben thought deliriously. Ren started stroking in a steady rhythm and Ben shuddered again, moaning at how good it felt.

Ren slowly picked up the pace, knowing just how to touch Ben, and then he used his other hand to press two fingers against his hole. He didn’t push, didn’t try to enter him dry, but just the feeling was enough and Ben nearly howled as he came, spilling all over himself, his whole body spasming. His vision whited out for a moment as Ren stroked him through it and Ben was panting when he came down.

“Shit, that was hot,” Ren said, and Ben managed to lift his head up enough to see Ren was stroking himself, his impressive cock even more so now that he was fully hard. “You ready for more?”

“Yes, please,” Ben said, his voice unsteady, but despite just coming, he couldn’t help but want more, want Ren to fuck him until he didn’t even know his own name anymore.

“Needy, aren’t you?” Ren asked, that smirk back in place; Ben hadn’t imagined so much teasing, but he wasn’t complaining. “I’m going to fuck you good.”

Ren took his hand off his cock and flung it out to the side, a bottle of lube flying into it. Ben almost laughed at such an absurd use of the Force, but he was too excited to focus on anything other than what it meant. This was really happening. Ben swallowed, unable to take his eyes off Ren.

Ren opened the bottle and slicked his fingers, using his dry hand to shove at Ben’s knee, indicating he needed more room. Ben spread his legs without hesitation, tipping his hips up as best he could to present himself. It occurred to him he should probably be ashamed of how eager he was, how quickly he’d come, but with how good it felt and how much Ren seemed to enjoy his enthusiasm, he just couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Relax, kid,” Ren said and then a finger was prodding at Ben’s hole.

Ben clenched on instinct, but then exhaled and forced himself to relax. The feeling of a finger in his ass was familiar, but it was also definitely different when someone else was doing it. Ren stretched him out, doing so efficiently. It was obvious how aroused Ren was, how much he wanted this. His pupils were blown, there was a light flush on his face, and his cock was hard and heavy between his legs. As he watched Ren work, Ben had an idea.

“I want to,” Ben started, pausing to gasp when Ren slipped a second finger in. “Could I suck you while you open me up?”

“Shit, yeah,” Ren said, sucking in a breath and pulling his fingers out. “Let’s do that. Get up on your hands and knees.”

Ben did so without hesitation as Ren stood back on the floor. Ren’s cock was right in front of his face and Ben licked his lips, considering how best to tackle it. He’d never sucked a cock before, but he knew the mechanics. He was sure he could make it work.

Ren stepped up to the edge of the bed and Ben reached forward to take his cock in hand, stroking it once and then bringing it to his lips. He licked around the head, tasting the bitter salt there and relishing in the way Ren’s breathing hitched at the sensation. Ben’s spent cock gave a twitch between his legs, not quite ready to rise again yet.

As Ben lapped at his cock, Ren leaned forward, smacking Ben’s ass and making Ben _squeak_. He grasped the meat of Ben’s cheek, squeezing for a moment and then letting go again, sliding two fingers back between them to his hole. Ben hummed his appreciation, finally wrapping his lips around Ren’s cock.

Ben started sucking, bobbing his head a little as he went. Ren suddenly moved his fingers just right and Ben moaned around his cock, causing Ren to let out a shuddering breath. He still wasn’t hard again yet, wasn’t capable of it so soon, but Ben still felt hot inside, speared from both ends on Ren’s cock and fingers. He shuddered at the thought, his mind flitting briefly to future possibilities, perhaps with more participants.

Feeling brave, Ben shoved forward, taking as much of Ren as he could down into his throat. Almost immediately, he gagged and Ren let out a moan, sounding like it caught him off guard. Ben pulled back to a safer point, panting hard through his nose and blinking tears from his eyes. He’d have to work himself up to that, he supposed.

“Fuck, that felt amazing,” Ren said, his fingers moving more urgently, three now inside him. “Gag on me again.”

With the need building inside him again, Ben was helpless to do anything but obey, pushing himself forward and quickly gagging again. Ren’s free hand flew to the back of his head, holding him in place as he moaned, and Ben’s made a strangled sound around the cock in his mouth. He couldn’t breathe and his eyes were watering, but _fuck_ , he loved being held in place like this.

Ren only held him there for a few seconds and Ben pulled back as soon as he was released, sucking in grateful breaths and blinking quickly. He was about to push forward again when Ren suddenly pulled his fingers out and took a step back, leaving Ben empty at both ends and feeling oddly bereft. He hoped this meant it was time for more, though.

“Turn around,” Ren ordered and Ben did so, nearly shaking with anticipation. “You’ve got such a nice ass, kriff.”

Ren gave it another smack, causing Ben’s breathing to stutter, and then Ren was stepping forward, both hands pulling his cheeks apart for a moment. Behind him, Ben heard more lube being squirted out, then a slick sound that could only be Ren lubing up his cock. Ben turned to look over his shoulder, seeing exactly that, and his cock throbbed.

Ben turned back ahead as he felt the tip of Ren’s cock pressing against his hole, forcing himself to relax, and then Ren breached him, pushing in and in, an overwhelming, hot pressure. Unable to keep from moaning, Ben’s back arched and he shifted a little, spreading his legs a touch further as Ren entered him. Fuck, he felt even bigger inside and Ben knew this was only the beginning.

Ren kept up a steady pressure, slowly pushing forward until he finally hilted himself in Ben, his pelvis pressed flush against Ben’s ass. Ben sighed, clenching experimentally to feel the stretch and causing Ren to hiss through his teeth. They stayed like that, Ren letting Ben adjust, until Ben couldn’t help rocking his hips back.

Then Ren’s hands were on his hips and he pulled back, shunting himself in again, knocking a groan out of Ben. He felt so full, so _good_ , and his cock was even starting to get hard again. Ren did it again, starting up a slow but hard rhythm, pulling out almost all the way before slamming back in. Ben let his eyes shutter closed, letting the sensations take over.

Ren gradually picked up his speed, finally getting up to a rhythm that had Ben moaning with every stroke while Ren let out short grunts and groans. Ben starting rocking back into it, meeting every thrust. Ren’s hand slipped down to find Ben’s cock rock hard again and he wrapped a hand around it, not stroking but giving it a firm squeeze before letting go.

“Already?” Ren teased, obviously far too pleased with himself, but Ben didn’t have the breath for a retort. “Easy and quick, isn’t that something?”

Suddenly Ren starting fucking him harder, the sound of their skin slapping together loud in the room and Ben choked on his moans. He couldn’t keep up anymore, just stayed where he was and _took it_ and he loved every moment of it. When he was younger, sometimes he’d fantasized about someone gentle, but when it had been Ren playing the role, it had always been rough and filthy. It seemed Ben’s imagination had been right about that.

A particularly harsh thrust had Ben’s arms giving out and he let himself slump forward onto the bed, laying on his stomach. Ren followed him, not wanting to lose the tight heat around his cock, and he didn’t even miss a beat, keeping up the hard rhythm while Ben moaned into the mattress. Every thrust had his cock rubbing against the sheets, giving him precious friction and bringing him ever closer to reaching the edge once again.

Ren then planted his hands on Ben’s shoulder blades, shoving him further into the bed as he fucked in harder, seeming close to coming himself. “Fuck, you might be a virgin, and your ass is tight enough to prove it, but you moan like a cheap slut.”

The words had Ben crying out, a surge of pleasure going through him that he didn’t expect. Ren’s voice sounded wrecked, too, his breathing heavy and laced with deep moans, and Ben had no doubt he’d be finished soon. Ben found he couldn’t wait to be filled with come.

“You gonna come for me again?” Ren asked, and Ben moaned louder, trying to make it sound like an affirmative. “Fuck yes you are, because I’m going to make you.”

It only took a few more thrusts for Ben to come, the friction of the sheets below him and the relentless pounding of Ren’s cock inside him enough to bring him over the edge. Ren came soon after with a shout, slamming in twice more and filling Ben’s clenching hole with come and sending a heavy shock of pleasure down Ben’s spine even as he was still working through his own orgasm. Ben’s mind went completely blank and his eyes rolled back as his whole body shuddered, overwhelmed.

They both took a moment in the aftermath, breathing heavily, and then Ren was pulling out and getting off the bed. Ben didn’t feel like he could move even if he tried, so he stayed where he was, shifting a little but not going any further. Even though he was lying in a puddle of his own come with more leaking out of his ass, he didn’t think he’d ever felt so comfortable in his entire life.

“Great job, kid,” Ren said, giving Ben a rough pat on the back. “Really, better than I expected.”

Ben smiled into the sheets at the praise, making a sound that he hoped came off as a thank you.

“Listen, I’m going to go check on the boys, see where we’re at,” Ren continued. “You can crash here for a bit if you want. ‘Fresher’s through the other door if you want to get cleaned up. I’ll be back.”

Ben made an affirmative sound and then heard the door whoosh open and shut. It belatedly occurred to him that, had someone been standing outside the door, they would’ve seen him in his wrecked and naked glory, but Ben couldn’t bring himself to care. His mind was quiet, all thoughts of what had happened that led to this gone for the moment. Ben winced as he shifted to grab at the blanket on Ren’s bed, feeling the rough fuck now. Still, it didn’t matter, Ben thought as he pulled the blanket over himself. He’d loved every moment of it and since his mind was calm for now, he closed his eyes and drifted, letting himself enjoy the peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/kyluxtrashpit/) or [tumblr](http://kyluxtrashpit.tumblr.com/) too


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